Surviving Vs. Living

This question might seem odd to you, but have you ever stopped to wonder if you are really living, truly living? Not just survive, but to live, what does it mean? This type of existentialist questions popped up in my head when I was a teenager and was brushed off, must be the hormones (whenever adults get uncomfortable with a subject they do that, I find they still do). But when I saw people getting earlier middle life crisis, at around mid-thirties, I couldn't stop but to rethink what it means to really live this life, here now on Earth.

If your life resembles the above, and you feel either depressed or anxious, it is not really living, but just surviving! Coping with life, muddling through, just barely managing, pushing through, just getting by... whatever you may call it, it is not living. If you ever got depressed due to something, you may react to that by doing all that you can to avoid being down that you may have gotten anxious. If you ever felt anxious, that you even got heart problems, panic attacks, you are trying so hard to calm yourself down that you could even get depressed. So reacting to a situation, trying to do the complete opposite, does not work. But not knowing how, we just fall to those traps again and again.

Another example is the way we close ourselves after many break ups or disappointments, in any type of relationships, anything social that involves two or more beings. After a break up or disappointment, what do you tell yourself? Never to let your guard down? Don't be so naive? Do not let anybody mess with your trust, heart? Don't let yourself be vulnerable again?
The break up or the let down was so hurtful that we tell ourselves to close our heart, thinking this is how I am going to protect myself. This is just in reaction to that event and is defensive, false sense of security, this is just surviving as with the above cases.

After traveling to the East, South, and West to look for my truth and answers, here is what I think living means: living is caring for oneself before others; means loving myself before others as this is the only to practice before sharing; no longer being just reactive to each event and person, but more  trying to be wisely responsive; generate health and well-being inside and outside; for each painful event life can throw at me as a challenge, I just retain the lesson, but forgive and let go of the rest without any grudge; I choose to breathe, not just automatically but really deeply in pranayama (yogi breaths); I contemplate, observe, silence my noises and meditate through senses; I choose to live my life the yogi way (conscious, mindful and in union with my in and outer self); I choose to stay connected with myself then others; I choose to live in the present moment rather than dwell in the past or future; I take off all those veils off my eyes and break all those bricks around my heart to see with a different perspective and with open heart.
Open heart is not vulnerable, it is way stronger than those who have decided to close it. I can see your emotional choices on your body. The mental and emotional state somehow shapes the body. This is why yoga is the only way to get fit in and out as it deals with your physical, physiological, mental and emotional issues. I don't know any other discipline that can tackle holistically at all once.

When people learn that I have made certain choices in nutrition, that I have taken courses and given workshops and talks on it, they get defensive on their choices and tell me: "you gotta let go a little, you gotta live once in awhile, c'mon!" They say this while surviving, not knowing the true meaning of living.  But how do you justify your choices, when you are sick, you get pain, you suffer for so many little stuff and you wonder why the body is so tired all the time and sluggish, then just pour in some coffee? Even those who seem very fit or those who post so many selfies of themselves online who try to show you that they are happier, ask them if they are really happy, really in love with themselves (not narcissistic way, just pure love), or if they are 100% healthy, no symptoms of any kind. Not one have perfect health, in and out!
Are you diabetic (Type B), cholesterol, heart problems? Want to lose weight? Tell me any problems you've got, I will tell you that your choices on food and lifestyle got you there. Each sport will give you problem. Making abs will give you side effects and consequences.
After awhile, accumulations of years of same bad choices later, your body will tell you that it is enough! But you don't listen, you shut it up. Later, your body will scream louder with more symptoms that it is not well. Then, you cannot just brush it off, what do you do? Band aid? As I call meds to treat symptoms, the band-aids. I find so many play the victim: I don't know why I got this suddenly. I was ok all these years and bam! I don't think it was sudden. I think everything happens due to accumulation: bad mental state, physical state, emotional stresses, etc.
Healthy mind will give healthy body and vice versa. Cigarettes, coffee, alcohol are drugs as it makes us addicted. Any addiction that is due to drugs or sugar, chocolate, junk food, still an addiction and to free our body and mind, we must let it go of any type of addiction. Practicing yoga will help you with staying fit in and out, including dealing with any kind of addictions. Eradicating addiction doesn't mean making that substance a ban and throw it from my place. You will want even more if you do that. Truly free means having sugar in your cupboard but not reaching for it for a year and not go back to it when your emotionally distraught. My teacher said people are always going from one obsession or addiction to another. For e.g. an alcoholic who used to go to a bar, goes to AA meetings, thinks he dealt with it by replacing it with coffee. That is not a successful result! Let's not replace one addiction or obsession with another, let's free ourselves to truly live in peace, love, health, until the very last breath by yoga-ing/yogater (French)!